While speaking to different people & teams in contexts of increasing communication, collaboration and team effectiveness, a couple of things have repeatedly come up. One of them is Taking Things Personally. Let us have a positive and objective look at this…

Many times, when we receive a comment or an improvement suggestion from a peer, manager or a friend, a common tendency is to take it personally, feel dejected & rejected and start defending ourselves. If I am at the receiving end, this happens when I consider as if I am being rejected by the other person. However, this is not the case most of the times. The other person simply wants me to improve upon something he highlighted. That’s it.

Let’s see what happens if I take things personally? I stop receiving any comments for my future improvements because I have closed the door by responded emotionally. The other person would never, ever say anything to me because he doesn’t want to make my upset, right? Here are a few tips that can prevent anyone from being personal.

1.      Stop the judgement. This is easier said than done but helps a great deal. The other person’s opinion is his opinion about me which may or may not be true. I decide about the correctness of this opinion later. I need not react immediately.

2.      Stay positive and say thank you. Someone is giving me something; not taking away anything. I just say thank you and move on.

3.      Focus on the relationship. My level of happiness depends on how good are my relationships with others. My success does not depend only on me. When I take things personally and react, I damage my relationships.

4.      Exercise regularly. It looks strange but people who take care of themselves usually have a higher capacity to bear with others.

5.      Ask questions. I can always get more clarity on the other person’s opinion. Maybe his point is genuine and needs my attention.

At all times we must remember, teams are made of people. Each & every member of the team has an influence and contribution towards success of the team.

Warmly, 

This post first appeared at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/taking-things-personally-nayyer-abdul-rab/