Switch on the victor mode

I was coaching a client who wanted to work on a very important goal but was unable to focus on it and used to spend a good number of hours on not so important activities. One of the challenges we identified was the constant distraction from social media and networking. We did some prioritization exercises and the use of social media always found itself in the least important category.

The solution was easy and straight forward, to distance himself from social media and free up some quality time to work on his goals. He left with an action plan for a week.

When we met the following week to review the progress, he had a long list of complains about the plan. According to him, the plan was flawed and not realistic at all. Some of his arguments were:

“It is not possible to stay away from social media in this age!”

“If I distance myself from social media, I will not be able to catch up with what’s going on.”

“My friends will believe that I am trying to avoid them. They will make fun of me.”

“How can I turn off my internet when everyone else is connected!” and the list goes on!

His attitude screamed a very common mindset that holds us back from executing our plans and making any progress, the Victim mindset.

Isn’t it common that whenever we start a regimen and create an extensive diet or workout plan, the whole world seems to conspire against us in the form of lunch invitations, social gatherings, unavailability of time and healthy alternatives etc. We fail to follow the regimen where in fact the same had been executed effectively by so many others in the past.

All similar situations reflect the Victim mindset, where we want to attribute our failures to factors not in our control. It makes us live in denial where we don’t want to accept ownership of the situation. We attribute our failures to others defying our responsibilities and have numerous excuses when it comes to accountability.

In contrast, the people with the Victor mindset take charge of the situation and ownership of the results. They hold themselves responsible for carrying out the plan and remain accountable for their actions. They learn from their failures and don’t lose hope at any point.

Next time you are excited about taking on a challenge in your life, take a moment to reflect on your mindset and remember that “You can’t expect to be a Victor if you are living with a Victim mentality”.

This article first appeared at

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