While speaking to different people & teams in contexts of increasing communication, collaboration and team effectiveness, a couple of things have repeatedly come up. One of them is Taking Things Personally. Let us have a positive and objective look at this…

It is true that the team’s effectiveness is largely dependent upon the person leading the team, the individual team member’s behavior is also significantly important; it cannot be ignored. As someone said TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More, the real performance of the team shows up when each member of the team is communicating, cooperating and collaborating well with others.

It is a common misconception that our capability of learning declines with age and it becomes difficult to learn and master new stuff in the later part of life. This false belief keeps us from acquiring new skills and as a result of that our lives become stagnant in terms of self-development.

It was shocking for me to hear all this from a handsome 24 years old boy. It was December of 2016 and a cold Sunday morning in Central London. He was the cousin of my friend who wanted me to talk to him and help him understand what was going on…

I know Hassan for the past 25 years and have been good friends with him since the time when we knew nothing about what goes on in this world. He works at a senior management position in a multinational company.

Hassan called me on phone last month and sounded very desolate.

When I was a kid, Lego theme boxes were my favorite toys. They were a set of colorful interlocking blocks that had a special theme. The memory of losing a block or two from the set is still vivid. It used to be a catastrophic day for the whole family. I would complain about the missing blocks like anything and would believe that the whole theme has become useless.

How many times have we shared a picture on social media and felt pride on every like and comment we get? Filled a quiz to get flattering results about our personality? Shared a post to get something in return? Felt happy on getting the desired results instantly?

I was coaching a client who wanted to work on a very important goal but was unable to focus on it and used to spend a good number of hours on not so important activities. One of the challenges we identified was the constant distraction from social media and networking. We did some prioritization exercises and the use of social media always found itself in the least important category.

Ahmed has a problem that many parents face. He feels his children are not putting in much effort in their studies, and thus their performance falls in the lower half of the class.
I asked Ahmed what are some of the efforts that he has made recently, to help his children improve their performance in their studies.

He wanted to do one thing, his father suggested another. He insisted on doing what He felt was good for him. “You are egoistic… it is your ego that is compelling you to do what you want to do…!” his father told him in frustration. I let him continue to talk. There was a long pause before he asked me… “Coach…! What is it…? Is it really my ego…? Why can’t they understand me…?”

Most teenagers’ parents do the same when their teenager doesn’t behave as expected. They believe that a teenager is deliberately being disruptive, and often want to express superiority among siblings and peers. Children misbehave, parents get strict with them, children misbehave more; thus a cycle of constant aggression is created.

One of my fellow coaches told me about this guy who was doing fairly well in his life, but still felt that he could not accomplish anything. The reason behind his made-up belief was that one of his parents once told him he would never achieve anything in life when he got bad grades, labeling the son a failure.

The other day a client expressed anger towards his son’s behavior of procrastination. He was furious that his son delays most of his tasks till they get overdue, not only putting himself in trouble but, at times, others as well. In fact, the boy didn’t maintain a proper study schedule, cramming topics near exams, ending up getting bad grades.

In Thailand, it is a common sight to see an elephant completely in control of its mahout (keeper/trainer of the elephants), obeying his commands with no resistance. Why does the strongest land mammal obey a human’s command, when it has all the power to get rid of the annoying little thing?

Ikigai, at the very basic, is the reason to be. The reason you enjoy life. The reason you wake up in the morning content and happy. It is a Japanese idea, and they believe, if carefully considered, everyone can find their Ikigai.

We all want to succeed in life and success is unachievable without changing ourselves first. To change a given situation, you must change yourself; and in order to change yourself, you must be able to change your perceptions. Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Why would you hire a coach? Everyone needs someone to keep them focused on their end goal. When you are a child, it is your parents who are constantly on your case to become a responsible person who studies hard, organizes his belongings, and plays enough so as not to mess up with your end goal i.e. good grades.